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Understanding Your Roles to Help Keep the Marriage Alive

Marriage. So profound. Technically, it is the legal process that binds two people who love and are committed to each other, and make their relationship permanent and official. It is not only a piece of agreement, it has a lot more to that. However, what’s supposed to be a lasting marriage sometimes ends in separation. You have heard several headliners where couples who have been married for so long finally call it quits. What happened to the “…till death do us part?” thing? Remember, there is no perfect marriage. Divorce is never an easy thing to go through. Therefore, both the husband and wife must completely understand each other’s roles in keeping and living a healthy married life.
understanding your roles to help keep the marriage alive
Here is a quote that you can find helpful:
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

How true, the husband and the wife are different from each other. Yes, you may say that what attracted you to each other are your similarities. Yet, there are still differences between the two of you and that is actually a good thing. You came from different family backgrounds, grew up in different communities, etc. Perhaps, you grew up in the same neighborhood; nevertheless, you have different personalities. Men differ from women not only biologically and physiologically, but also, psychologically as well. Getting into the aspect of understanding the different spousal needs will help you develop a better relationship with your significant other.

According to the Scriptures, the husband is the head or leader of the family just as Christ is the head of every man, and God is the head of Christ. This does not mean dominance. Christ has set Himself as a role model to follow. Your wife is God’s gift to you, it is but fitting to love her unconditionally. Sure, action speaks louder than words, but women want to hear affirmations from their husbands, too. Being a leader also means you have to serve your wife. Try knowing and understanding her needs, encourage and support her in realizing her dreams. Being a husband does not only mean you have to provide for her.

As for the wives, you have heard about women empowerment; there is nothing wrong about that. You must submit to your husband’s loving and sensitive leadership and be as uniquely as you are as a person. However, this is not to the point that you will keep up with him even when he is already being abusive and violent. That is a different story and you should seek counsel when that happens. Just as women long to hear words of affirmation, husbands long to feel the love their wives have for them. They are also imperfect individuals, and unconditional love means a lot to them. The Scriptures made it clear in the beginning that the woman is a helper to her husband. You have to stand by your man by considering his needs, taking care of him, and being grateful for his commitment.

To make a marriage work, love is not enough. Both of you have to mutually work hard to keep that love alive. I heard someone said, “…I never realized until now that love can fly away through a window.” You have to maintain and respect the sacredness of your marriage and keep your communication lines open.

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