Marriage is not always about enjoyment. Do not be fooled by the storylines you see in many romantic movies. Young people get the wrong notion that being head over heels with someone is a valid reason to have that “happily ever after.” Fairy tales are just stories for bedtime, so better wake up in reality. It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice to make a marriage work. More often than not, many people mistakenly associate attraction and chemistry with love. They forget the need to have the right mindset to make their marriage endure this ever-changing world. To remain in love with the same person requires a decision and commitment for both parties.
Today, divorce rates are getting alarmingly high. In addition, even if you do not get married young, there are still chances that marriage may end in divorce. A horrible marriage can happen to good people because they feel that they are not good enough for each other. All the while, you thought you know your partner well only to find out there is something about that person you can’t imagine living the rest of your life with. That once Prince Charming has now become a Big Bad Wolf or that Damsel in Distress has turned into a Witch. It is easy to get attracted and get that oh-so-wonderful giddy feeling. Your mixed emotions get the best of you. So before going down the aisle, get to know more about your partner.
What seems to be a perfectly laid plan in the beginning seems to crumble apart because of problems both of you cannot handle, alienation from the other, outgrowing the other, and so on and so forth. You may find it surprising to know that there are couples who seem to have a strong marriage because of the long years they had been together, but ultimately end up being unhappy with each other. That bursts the bubble about your concept of marriage. Certainly, you do not want that to happen to you. Ever.
One of the key ingredients that couples may have forgotten to nurture is good communication. Do not let the busyness of your day-to-day living get in the way. Have you ever seen this scene before? Man and woman get married; typically, the husband goes work to provide for the family while wife stays at home to tend to the family’s household. Years later, after their children got off the family nest, bam! The couple realizes they no longer know the other and ask themselves, “Is this the same person I married 20 years ago?” They realize there is little or, worse, no compatibility anymore. Take note, there is no presence of anger here. They are trapped in a marriage that could have grown better over the years if only they had proper communication and better understanding of each other’s needs.
When needs are not met, either of you may resort to extra-marital affairs. You start looking for the missing link elsewhere, in someone’s arms. Going to marriage counseling can help save the marriage. Again, there is hard work, sacrifice, patience, and trust involved here. You need to work things out by mutually adjusting your attitudes. There is no room for selfishness in marriage. If you have a temperamental nature, you can seek further counseling to help you with the problem.
Whatever it is you may find yourselves caught into, exhaust all means to make that marriage work. Of course, any form of violence is a different story. Yours need not be part of the growing statistics of divorce rates.