Children are one of the primary concerns that surface in your mind when you and your spouse decide to separate. The process of going through a divorce becomes an even more complicated situation when there are children involved, and your responsibilities towards them will obligate you to make them understand the situation perfectly. Furthermore, you must be prepared to give them reasons why it is the only solution given the circumstances.
It is often recommended that you break this news to your children with your spouse present. No matter what feuds, hostility and bitterness there is among the two of you, you have to set them aside for the sake of your children. This is known to be the best way to deal with such a situation. You have to explain to the kids about how both you and your spouse will always be there for them after getting a divorce even though they won’t be living together. That they’ll always be a family even though slightly different from the typical sense of a family.
A good way to convey this would be having a discussion beforehand with your spouse about how you’ll put forward this news. Think of ways you can break the news to your children without confusing them. You can even seek the help of a specialist in this matter. A mental health expert, child psychologist or even your religious guide can aid here. It is important to agree on what must be told and in what manner so that you avoid any irreversible situations.
Do not hesitate to be truthful with your reasons in getting a divorce. Be open with the fact that the changes that follow won’t be entirely easy, and their lives will not be the same hereafter. Having their ages in mind, tell them all they need to know and all that they’ll understand, except for any shocking news or explicit detailing. Chose the right time and leniently enlighten them about your decision.
And finally, the single and most vital point you must note, no matter what the circumstances are, is to never give an opportunity for your children to think you’re getting a divorce because of them. Having them falsely feel responsible for your unhappy marriage would be too heavy on them. To have them understand they are not alone in this battle will make your getting a divorce easier on them.
As a parent, it is not only your job to break the news to your kids, but you must also be there to help them get through this major change. Getting a divorce is most especially hard on the children. They need your attention and love more often now so that they are spared of the emotional turmoil that often follows this decision. If they are devoid of such aid during a young age, the repercussions of this tough time will reflect during their later years, even causing them to lead an insecure and unhappy life.