Contrary to popular belief, marriage is neither a cakewalk nor a bed of roses. What most people forget is that it takes two to tango in a marriage. And if one partner behaves erratically or becomes dysfunctional, then the entire happily-ever-after delusion comes collapsing into shambles. So what is the secret behind a successful marriage? What exactly is it that helps keep a marriage thriving and kicking? And most importantly – what are the common and misleading marriage myths?
Well, there are several things that certainly keep a marriage alive, and believing in these myths won’t necessarily get you to your goal.
Myth #1 – There’s such a thing as a happy marriage.
Happiness is usually a state of mind towards external circumstances. There’s no such thing as a ‘happy marriage’ – the road traversed by married couples is certainly riddled with thorns and spikes – but you can make yourself happy by being content with the relationship you currently have. Not only will your happiness rub off on your spouse, but by altering your response to pressurizing circumstances and not caving in easily when troubles crop up, you can stay happy and ultimately lead a satisfying and fulfilling marriage.
Myth #2 – If you’re angry, stick it out and reason it out.
One of the many marriage myths is that you need to instantly resolve a confrontation or conflict the moment you have one. Considering that both your spouse and you are tied up in anger mode, this isn’t a good idea. If you run into a fight, give yourselves some time away from each other and go to bed. You’ll notice that you can reason things out better after some bed rest.
Myth #3 – Compatibility is vital to a happy marriage.
Relationship troubles often come to life due to personality conflicts. There’s no such thing as compatibility in the real world – just tolerance. Tolerance is the foundation of a solid marriage, and this means accepting all of your partner’s flaws and weaknesses.
Myth #4 – Sexual connections fade in your octogenarian years.
Most couples think that once their golden years have flitted past, their sexual lives and marriage will slowly crumble to pieces as well. This isn’t true, and another common misleading marriage myth. Sex is generally a reflection of sexual satisfaction itself. The important thing is to prioritize sex during the weekends or certain days to keep your marriage alive. Try to be subtle to your spouse when you have sexual needs, and use sexual reminiscing to get yourselves thinking and talking about having sex. Soon you’ll notice that your sexual connection is still existent, and you can still be sated and satisfied at the end of it.
Myth #5 – Marriages crumble after the kids leave.
Most parents think that once the kids leave the nest, everything will slow down. Although the decibel level in your house might decrease considerably, you now have some freedom at your fingertips. Relish in it and cherish it. Use the opportunity to fit in new events – go for a salsa lesson with your spouse, take a tour around Europe or celebrate the fact that you have proudly raised several independent and capable young adults that are all set to take on the world.
Thus, a marriage only works if you are happy yourself and willing to accept all aspects of your spouse. Growing old isn’t an excuse to not stay sexually connected, and there’s no such thing as compatibility in a marriage. Relish in the freedom given unto you the moment the kids leave the house, and remember to support each other through everything to ensure you have a fulfilling and satisfying marriage for many days to come.